How To Have “The Talk” With Your Roommate

Me and my roommate-innocent little freshmen

Ah, college. The place of new beginnings. You’ll meet interesting people, take fun classes, develop a lifelong addiction to coffee…

You get a clean slate when you arrive on campus that first day as a frosh, which is awesome for a Chronie because no one knows you as the “sick kid” in your high school who missed weeks of school at a time because of flare-ups.

Sooner or later, though, you’re going to have to tell someone about your disease. And most likely, the first person you tell will be your roommate. It’s a discussion that needs to be had, as you’ll be sharing a living space, and possibly a bathroom, with this person.

I lived in a traditional dorm my freshman year on a floor with all girls. There was a communal bathroom, but I was lucky enough to snag the one room on the floor with a private bathroom. My parents had called the school to make sure I could get this luxury, and you should try the same thing. Call the residence offices and find out which dorms have rooms with private bathrooms and ask how you can be assigned to one. You’ll probably need a doctor’s note verifying that you have a valid reason for needing it, and it will be SO worth it.

Private bathrooms are the best

Whether you’re able to get your own bathroom or not, you’re still going to need to have a conversation with your roommate about how you need to manage your disease. You don’t need to do it the first second you meet him or her (“Hi, I’m Madeline and I have Crohn’s disease!” isn’t exactly getting it off on the right foot). But when it comes to this conversation, the sooner, the better. It may seem uncomfortable, but you’ll be glad you did it.

Here’s what you should say to your roommate:

• Tell them you have Crohn’s disease and then explain what it is in a nutshell. No need to go into your whole medical history, but keep in mind that a lot of people don’t know what Crohn’s is, so give them the Reader’s Digest version.
• Tell them what symptoms you commonly experience and how these will affect you on a daily basis. For example, tell them you frequently get swollen joints that you need to ice, or that you get severe stomach aches which keep you in bed with a heating pad. This will let your roomie know when you need to be left alone.
• If you have diet restrictions, let them know so that you don’t accidentally eat the left over pizza in the fridge that sends your stomach into a frenzy. This is especially important if you have any food allergies. If you share food, make sure items are clearly marked.
• Tell them about the medications you take so they won’t be surprised to see you swallowing pills on a daily basis. I was taking Humira my freshman year, which needed to be refrigerated, so I had to let my roomie know about it since we shared a mini fridge.
• Lastly, let your roommate know  you’ll need easy and frequent access to a bathroom. After I let my roommate know, she made sure to do her hair and makeup in front of a mirror in the room rather than in the bathroom. This way, I wouldn’t delay her morning routine in case I needed to use the bathroom.
  

  Our room. Typical.

Even if you and your roommate don’t become super close BFF’s, remember he or she is not your enemy but your ally. If you respect them, they will respect you in return, and they might very well come in handy if you need them. My roomie always offered to run to the drugstore and get me more Tums or People magazines whenever I was sick. And in return, I cleaned up a vase she shattered when she came home drunk one night. You give a little, you get a little, right? 🙂